Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys
Aka
Lying there like a lump of dung
This movie isn’t nearly as bad as many other movies I’ve seen. In fact, the only reason it is on here is due to Corey Feldman or more accurately – Corey Feldman’s voice. I’m not exactly sure what the director asked him to do; I can only assume it was something along the lines of, “Pretend like you are taking a shit every time you open your mouth.” … continue reading this entry.
D-Wars
AKA
Dragon Wars
AKA
Rise Mighty Dawdler
There is not enough alcohol to numb the pain of this movie. Believe me, I tried. Of course, this is really all my boyfriend’s fault. You see, I was sitting around minding my own business when he says, “How about you drink a mojito, I’ll drink a beer and we can watch that Dragon Wars movie that is on our Netflix instant queue.” I don’t think he has ever suggested I drink as I watch a specific movie before so of course I was suspicious. I asked, “Why?” Supposedly, while he was at work he saw the dvd and got curious about it. However, that doesn’t explain why he suggested I drink. I totally bet someone told him how much it sucked and he decided to have fun. See, when we watch bad movies, he doesn’t watch the movie. Oh no, that would be fair. Instead he watches me watch the movie. Anyway, I should have known, but this is a movie about Dragon Wars, how can you go wrong with two dragons duking it out? (Should I answer my own rhetorical question? 1st if it really isn’t a war and 2nd if they aren’t even motherfreaking dragons.) Well, anyway, I’m stupid. We all know it. I know it. He knows it. I agreed. … continue reading this entry.
Rise: Blood Hunter
Aka
Rise: My Lunch
My first hint that this movie was going to suck should have been how the cover somehow made Lucy Liu look like a man in drag. That and the fact that it wasn’t just called Rise, but instead is Rise: Blood Hunter. Don’t they normally reserve colons for sequels? Or maybe the producers just wanted to get the idea of colons into your head so you knew what direction this movie was going. … continue reading this entry.
This is supposed to be a normal website; however, I use hostmonster for my website hosting and they don’t allow profanity. Sooooooo, until I get some money saved up to go to a new server I am going to do this in blog format.
Anyway, this is where I talk about things I’ve watched, read, listened to, etc that are so, so, so, so bad.
